i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
