The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
