bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
a victory without nudity is not really a victory