i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
