talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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