You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy