you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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