anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
