Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
