I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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