Whatcha textin bout Willis?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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