She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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