I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's just like the Real World with babies
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
