I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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