Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
