who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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