There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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