Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
