Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
