omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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