I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
