She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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