Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize