HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
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Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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