Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
