to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
handjob tips. give me some.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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