just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
