you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
