u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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