Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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