Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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