Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
high people should be assigned attendants
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
