so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
