You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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