I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
