Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
