I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
