So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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