he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize