therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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