Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
