Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
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this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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