Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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