sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dear god my vagina.
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