Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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