More tranny stories later!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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