I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
