I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
