your parents love me but you hate me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
