Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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