She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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