Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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