Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
