I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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