Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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