he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
