Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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