wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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