Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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