guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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