You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
