i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
