good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
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She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
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Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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