Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
