I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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