Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
