You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize