Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my shit smells like andre
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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